It’s been ages since I’ve been here. Almost two years. In that time, I’ve thought, repeatedly, that I should let go of this blog and WarriorGirl, these online homes I dreamt up, crafted and tended with such care for so long. I let them go, abandoned them. I let them grow weedy with de-activated plug-ins. Isn’t that exactly what TIGA was about? Letting go of things that no longer served me? That I no longer loved?
But when I come back here, I discover that I’m wrong. Yes, I’ve been away – I’ve been exploring and I’ve been lost – but when I come back to these blogs, I realize that they still serve me. I still love them. What I wrote reminds me of who I still am and who I could be. I am reminded that, for me, writing is the best way through anything. And walking, but we’ll get to that later.
I have dreams and hopes and aspirations. I have doubts and fears. I fall on my face – especially these last several months – and I haul myself up and keep going. Writing is still the best companion through all of that.
When I revisit what I built, read all those old posts, admire the beautiful artwork that I commissioned especially to reflect my journey, I am re-inspired. I remember the thrill I felt when an idea struck me. I remember the painstaking drafting and re-drafting, and I miss it. Unlike most people, I love to edit and can get happily lost in the search for just the right phrasing. I also love filling out tax forms so maybe I am not your ordinary duck.
In any case –
It’s time to come back.
Besides, my two university-aged daughters just moved out of their school-year home and brought home two van-loads of stuff. Our storage garage is so full of existing stuff that theirs has now taken up residence in our rec room, along side a saddle, a garbage bagful of fabric, a green screen and an inflatable mattress. What better time to examine things I need to give away? Have I mentioned the empty nest? Or my turning fifty last year? Have I told you about studying neuroscience and psychology? That sports radio has become my steadfast companion? That I’ve been re-examining everything? Everything.
No, I haven’t. I’ve been sitting here with all this stuff bottled up and unwritten.
There’s so much territory unexplored. There’s so much ahead. It’s time to come back.